Despite so many good things happening this week... I just find myself upset. For the first time in five years my step sister has actually said she wants to work on our relationship and try and start anew. But even with good news like my parents moving to their dream house, I find myself almost suffocating with different emotions I don't understand.

I feel like a robot... every day, every week, the same. school, work, class, work, school, etc. Although I do so much for so many people, especially in my position of a club-president, I feel like I'm the one that's the most judged.  People are becoming exhausting.  My friends at school see me as a leader, the go-to person, the one with the ideas. They look at me for help and advice, but when it's my turn for help, I rarely get it.  Sisters tell me what to do and don't' give me the time of day to explain myself. Sometimes I just want positive feedback, to be told "good job!" but I'm usually judge. I'm judge for who I like, who I defend, what I'm studying, what I'm doing this summer.

Isn't it easier to drop judgement? Take away grudges and forgive? We are all people who deserve to be respected, loved, and befriend. Sometimes being the loud one, the decision maker, makes you forgotten. I want to go back to the days when I had very few friends... in lots of ways that's a lot easier to handle.