and I can't get him out. This is a disaster. What's even more annoying is that I don't care that it's probably going to end badly, that I'm most likely going to get hurt. All I care about is when I'll get to see him next. The feeling I get whenever he smiles at me in that way he does, a smile that says the words we can't say, is worth it all.
I can't do this though. I can't be the girl who pursues a guy who's already someone else's boyfriend. Even if they're totally unhappy together. Even if I've never seen him smile at her the way he smiles at me.
My head is spinning.
This is so familiar. All I can say
ReplyDeleteis that if you're anything like me you'll feel agony and regret either way.
There's the agony of guilt, of pointless longing,
of trying to sort through incomprehensible emotions.
But is that worse than the agony of the "what if?"
What if I'd gone for it, what if it was the most beautiful thing I've experienced, what if I'd allowed myself that beautiful experience regardless of what happens after?
Feeling love and feeling hurt are better than feeling nothing at all.
As long as you don't forget that it is going to hurt. Mine did. Does.